Just enjoy

As long as I believe I am in control, I am the nicest person in the world.

However, when that sense of control is threatened, I am alarmed at the intensity of not-so-nice emotions that bubble up to the surface. One of my biggest pet peeves is the introduction of repetitive noises that I have no way of stopping in spaces where I’m trying to relax. It’s like taking a luxurious stretch, and someone coming up and poking your armpits. My siblings used to do this to me, and my reaction was so intense that my family later had a standing rule to NEVER poke while stretching. Repetitive noises in a peaceful space, in the same way, transform my inner sanctum of calm into a volcanic hell-hole of fury in seconds. I’ll appear calm on the outside (unless you know me), but I’m not on the inside. I become tense and fixated, boiling in anger spirals, until the noise stops. Then I become mild-mannered and loving again. It’s scary how quickly I can go from a nice, normal human to a wannabe vengeful monster. And back again.

My husband shares my feelings about obnoxious background noises, but he clearly dealt with it better in the above scenario: the kid who kept flapping his water bottle around while we were just trying to enjoy an absolutely gorgeous sunset along the seashore. This time, my husband was the grown-up and he cast into sharp relief the full-extent of my inner childish rantings: “We were here first! It’s…