A Daily Routine for Inner Monsters
I am not not a morning person. I’m a don’t-bother-me-when-I-don’t-want-to-be-bothered person. Which is usually in the mornings.
My mornings are special because I often work in the evening. They are my quiet time to enjoy my coffee, make a good breakfast, go for a walk, and meditate(ish). The quality of my morning routine sets me up for the rest of the day.
But keeping the same routine doesn’t always work well for me.
As much as I like the stability offered in a routine, I have an inner monster that loves options. The monster gets bored if I do the exact same thing every morning. It roars and screams and gets antsy and claustrophobic and drives the rest of my brain crazy by asking silly questions, like: is this all your life boils down to every single day? Can’t you be more creative? This is no fun! In this sense, I can relate to many of the ADHD-types I work with.
I’m neurotypical, but I’m always interested in ideas that people in the ADHD community share to help with the balance of routine and creativity. This is because, often times, those ideas work for me too.
Enter this routine, presented by Hayley Honeyman. It’s brilliant because it’s not just one routine. It’s three. Honeyman introduces the idea of creating a routine for each kind of morning you can have: optimal, normal, and suboptimal [my words]. It’s limited enough not be overwhelming to choose from. It’s varied enough to fit the right mood. And, it encourages people like me, who often float along without checking in with themselves, to check in:
How am I feeling today? What do I need?
I’m starting to think about ways I can apply this strategy of creating three routines to my evenings too.
Dr. Andrew Huberman, well-known Stanford educator and a very wise person and podcaster, says having a morning and evening routine is important for a solid night’s sleep. I have struggled with this for a long time. I work most evenings, so my brain is racing when it’s time for bed. To counter this, I do activities to exhaust my energy and redirect my brain. I do little chores I didn’t do during the day. I watch a movie or catch up on personal texts and e-mails. I laze on the couch with a glass of wine. I light a candle. But I struggle to stick to any routine. I have an especially hard time doing habits many articles I’ve read recommend such as reading a book, journaling and stretching.
I’ve realized: the monster is much louder for me in the evenings than in the mornings.
This video inspired me to sketch a set of three evening routines that could help me sleep better, and, importantly that build from things I already do. Rather than creating a list and paring it down as Honeyman does, I’m going to lean into my need for alternative options here, and see how it goes.
As I wrote this, I realized that for each night, I’d like to do at least one thing for my body, one for my mind and a thing for my heart. I’ll work on that. Revisions to come!
BUT, for me, the greatest key to this kind of planning is the grace it offers. It acknowledges that we all have some crazy little monsters within that don’t always follow the rules and habits that we or society or even what science says is best for them. But a set of routines like this does try to make all of those “best” things a little easier for the monsters to swallow.
In other words, planning ahead with the monsters in mind gives them the space to stand in the sunshine (or moonlight) and roar in ways that are a little more healthy. To roar in grace.
